My First Blog

I am random. There are no other words to describe my very existence. I am a random person. I have continuous random thoughts. There are moments in my life when all I can do is just sit back and admit that I am random.  I am sure there is something chemically imbalanced in my brain that causes me to be random... but I have grown to accept the fact that I live my life in random God filled moments. 

So part of my randomness is to start a blog. A blog of random thoughts, findings, and situations in my life that I feel the need to share. I apologize in advance for giving you even a small glimpse of what goes on in my head, and for the fact that if you start reading this blog.. you too may have to admit all of your random tendencies. 

My 10 year high school reunion just happened two weeks ago. Although I didn't go (total other random story) I have really spent the past couple of weeks reflecting on my life and what has happened over the past ten years. If you would have told me that I would be where I am in my life right now ten years ago...I wouldn't believe you. My life has been a complete journey full of ups and downs and wrong turns. A decade has passed and all of the goals and plans I had ten years ago are no where near any kinds of goals or plans I have right now. 

In fact I am finding at this turning point in my life that I am completely goal-less. I really don't have any goals...and I am wondering if that is a bad thing. For the past six months I have had to live my life in small God moments. I had to take each day as it came and for what God had planned. I leaned on that lifestyle for a while now and I am at a crossroads now. Do I continue to live my life in small God moments...go where the wind takes me with no plans or goals.....or do I create some goals. Do I go on a soul searching mission to figure out where I want to be in the next ten years? 

I am a planner. I plan everything... even to what I am going to eat and wear for the day. It was quite a process giving God my day and allowing him to guide me and I don't want to give that up... but I also don't want to live with any regrets  because I didn't have any goals. Do I set a goal not to have a goal? Do I set mini goals that I can attain easily? Do I set a major goal that I work towards? 

I love what Matthew 5:5 says from the Message:

You are blessed when you're content with just who you are-no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

My prayer is that I find a way to be content with who I am ... no more, no less.... Goals or no goals.